


Celluloid Jam

by stars_inthe_sky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5 Times, Buffy the Vampire Slayer References, Dirty Dancing References, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Game of Thrones References, Gen, Lion King (1994) References, Pop Culture, Prompt Fill, Romantic Fluff, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6944728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars_inthe_sky/pseuds/stars_inthe_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Bucky and Natasha understood that reference. Mostly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I simply say

**Author's Note:**

  * For [red_b_rackham](https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_b_rackham/gifts).



> Happy birthday to my dearest, darlingest Red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red said, "I'd love a 'the mission went bad and we don't even really know each other but we're stuck waiting for extraction in this crappy town, patching each other up, and there's only one bed' tropey thing. XD"

“Figures. We made it through those other team-ups without any significant injuries; something bad was bound to happen.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and settles on the impressively ugly motel bed as Bucky digs through his belt pouch for first-aid supplies. “It’s a scratch, Barnes. Long and nasty-looking, but hardly fatal. I’ll live.”

“Still, let me patch it up. Least I can do after you took out that blockhead who was wailing on me.” He looks up to see her tactical suit unzipped almost to her navel, exposing her injured arm and a lot of skin, and lets out an involuntary gasp.

She snorts. “Seriously? You’ve never seen a sports bra before?”

“No, I just wasn’t expecting…never mind,” he mutters, blushing enough to make Steve proud but joining her on the bed anyway. She offers up her bloodied bicep, and he goes to work cleaning the wound. When he pricks her skin with the surgical needle, though, it’s her turn to gasp.

“No anesthesia in there, huh?”

“Sorry,” he admits. “It’s a belt pouch. Essentials only. Wasn’t expecting to crash here overnight or need a real kit…”

“Keep going; I’ll manage,” she sighs. “I’m just...gonna turn on the TV for distraction, okay?”

“Sure, whatever helps.”

Natasha leans across Bucky to grab the remote from the nightstand. While he focuses on her bicep again, she flips on the television and channel-surfs for a minute or so. “Ooh, _Dirty Dancing_! Clint’s kids are obsessed.”

> “ _I’m scared of what I did, of who I am! And, most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you!_ ”

Bucky glances up at the movie at that and, after staring for a good minute, looks back down at Natasha’s arm and emphatically not at her face. “That, uh, doesn’t look much like dancing. Does look kind of dirty, though…”

To her credit, Natasha’s a little red now, too. “Sorry, I forgot where in the movie it was. Just recognized the actors.” She switches off the television as the movie transitions from a dimly-lit love scene to a bright shot of the Catskills.

“No, it’s fine, I’ve got a list of stuff to catch up on anyway, you know…” Bucky trails off. “And, I’m done.” He ties off the thread neatly and dabs away the remaining blood.

“Thanks…Barnes,” she says, awkwardly. “Hey—remind me what Bucky’s short for?”

“James Buchanan—like the president. Always seemed like too much of a mouthful.”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” she recites. “That’s a real, grown-up name.”

“Thanks, I think?” He stares at his hands for a moment, then busies himself putting the needle and remaining thread away.

“James,” she says pointedly, leaning toward him as she pulls the zipper on her suit down a few more inches. “Stop blushing. Ask if you can kiss me. I’m gonna say yes. And my arm really isn’t hurt that bad.”

His whole body shifts, and he brightens at her words. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she grins, then tugs on the front of his jacket, pulling him closer. “C’mere, loverboy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is the actual quote from the actual movie. Any resemblance to the hurt/comfort section of [my last fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6480103) is purely coincidental. 
> 
> Sidebar fun fact: James Buchanan was the president of the United States just before the actual American Civil War.


	2. Ain't no passing craze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red prompted, “Just one quiet day, that's all I wanted."

“Well, that answers _that_ question,” Clint says from the threshold of the living room.

Bucky and Natasha jump apart, talking over each other and hurriedly trying to adjust their mussed hair and partially unbuttoned clothing.

“The TV remote fell into the couch—”

“I was trying to dig out the remote; he didn’t want to mess anything up—”

Clint’s eyebrows practically reach his hairline. “ _That_ ’s the story you’re going with?”

“I told you,” Laura chimes in from behind her husband. “Nat’s decided it’s against her secret agent code to tell her friends anything. Ever.”

“Tsk, tsk, Agent Romanoff,” Clint snickers, almost dodging the errant toy dinosaur a very flushed Natasha throws at him. Bucky slouches down on the couch as if hoping the cushions will absorb him. “Honestly, think of the children.”

Laura sets the dinosaur on top of the TV next to the remote and considers the pair on the couch. “Oh, I can see what’s happening.”

“What?” Clint asks, rubbing the red skin on his arm.

“And they don’t have a _clue_.”

“Who?” Clint gestures to the couple with exaggerated confusion.

Natasha begins to protest, but Laura covers Natasha’s mouth with her hand and continues talking to her husband as if Natasha isn’t right there. “They’ll fall in love, and here’s the bottom line: our trio’s down to two.”

Clint goes wide-eyed in mock realization. “Ohh! The sweet caress of twilight! There’s magic everywhere.” He wiggles his fingers in a poor imitation of Wanda. “And with all this romantic atmosphere…”

“Disaster’s in the air,” Laura agrees, nodding toward Bucky, who now seems to be trying to hide behind his short curtain of hair.

Natasha stares at her friends. “Are you seriously quoting _The Lion King_ at us?”

As if on cue, all three Barton kids appear behind their father, singing in all earnestness, “Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings…” Clint hits a button on an unseen speaker for musical accompaniment.

Lila beams as Cooper pulls her into some kind of lift, and as they reach, “The world for once, in perfect harmony, with all its living things,” they segue into what might be an interpretive dance routine incorporating Nathaniel’s inability to do much more than toddle behind his siblings and babble.

Bucky stops trying to disappear and just stares, slack-jawed, at the performance, mouthing “What is happening?” to Natasha. She shakes her head firmly, face as red as her hair, clearly trying to resist giggling.

Clint is also holding back laughter as he films the kids—and their unwitting audience—with his phone. Only Laura manages to keep a straight face, as though it’s a nightly occurrence for her kids to belt out, “Can you feel the love tonight? You needn’t look too far,” at two recovering assassins who may or may not have been interrupted mid-make-out.

The kids finally reach the final, “Stealing through the night’s uncertainties, love is where they are,” and jump into victory poses, jazz hands and all. Bucky follows the other adults’ lead in applauding, still visibly perplexed.

Laura pats the older two on the heads and steers them toward the stairs. “Okay, guys, time for bed. Honey, you wanna—?”

Clint scoops up Nathaniel and follows the rest of his family upstairs. “Be right back, weirdos.”

“What _was_ that?” Bucky whispers as soon as the kids are out of the room.

But before Natasha can reply, they hear Clint warble from out of sight, “And if she falls in love tonight…it can be assumed…”

“Oh, no,” she mutters.

Laura chimes back in with, “Her carefree days with us are history.”

“In short,” Clint and the kids sing along with her. “Our pal is doooooomed!” Their voices fade into a rumble of stair-climbing and laughter.

Natasha and Bucky wait several seconds, but the singing doesn’t start again. She lets out a breath of relief, which quickly turns into giggles. He asks quietly, “I thought you didn’t want to tell them we were—”

She shrugs, laughing helplessly. “Too late for that, I guess. But apparently we need to catch you up on Disney animation post- _Bambi_.”

Laura appears in the doorway again. “Just be glad we did that instead of singing about how you’re a bit of a fixer-upper. Elton John’s classic, but you’d never get _Frozen_ out of your head.”

He looks a little concerned about that. “Frozen?”

“Trust me, you’re welcome. Just remember, next time you wanna circle-of-life each other, do it in the barn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this post](http://stars-inthe-sky.tumblr.com/post/124781480970/disney-the-bartons-natasha).


	3. Who's scruffy-looking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red requested, "Buckynat Star Wars AU something. (rebels? Siths? Jedi? Smugglers, pilots, stromtroopers...?) :D"
> 
> This isn't that. But, if you've got a particular hankering, this is: http://archiveofourown.org/series/440536

“Told you it’d be worth seeing it on the big screen and not just on DVD like we watched the original trilogy,” Natasha grins, stretching as she rises.

Bucky stays frozen in his seat. “That was incredible. The—I mean, the fight choreography alone! Nat, we need to learn how to fence. Even if it’s not with mystical laser swords. And Finn, my god, the way he just…”

“See, and I thought you’d still relate more to Han overall.” She ruffles his hair and offers him her hand, which he takes, pulling himself up.

They wander out of the theater amid a thick crowd of equally awed fans. “Han? The space pirate, over the guy who breaks out of being brainwashed by the Big Bad? He’s not even the one with the robot arm,” Bucky tosses the still-sticky remnants of his large popcorn into the trash and blinks rapidly as they emerge into the brightly lit hallway back to the multiplex’s lobby.

“I’ll give you the bio piece, but…eh, Finn’s just so…not you. Now, Han, there you have the guy who chooses to be good, too, but he’s also less, you know, black-and-white about it. And he’s really sarcastic. And scruffy. And that fondness for blasters! Plus, he _literally_ got frozen…”

“Hey!” Bucky elbows Natasha in the side.

 She smirks. “And he’s _way_ less suave than people give him credit for.”

“Well, I guess that makes you Princess Leia, then,” Bucky retorts as they step onto the escalator to reach the theater’s main exit. “Equally at home in battle and in negotiations, wears the hell out of a bikini _and_ will kill you in it, can’t help loving the sarcastic, frozen, not-very-suave guy for some reason, and…this is turning out to be less insulting than I thought.”

“I’ll wear my hair in giant buns sometime if it makes you feel better,” she assures him.

“It would, yeah.” He slings an arm around Natasha’s shoulders as they emerge onto 42nd Street. “Okay, fine, so if I’m Han, and you’re Leia—Clint is totally Chewbacca, right, even if the backstory doesn’t line up? And if Steve’s Luke…”

“Oh, Steve is definitely Luke. With the nobility and the trying to save and/or redeem his family, plus the humble beginnings…”

Bucky nods. “Guess that makes you two twins, huh? How d’you feel about _that_?”

“Could do worse,” Natasha shrugs. “And we did have that weird, awkward kiss that one time. Ooh, want to buy me a black-and-white cookie before we get on the subway?”

“Sure, if you—wait, what kiss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the first time [Bucky has been compared to Han Solo](http://stars-inthe-sky.tumblr.com/post/94437799060/reysolowalkers-joe-russo-our-process-a-lot-of).


	4. I could so save the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red prompted, "Ghosts with blood on our hands."

“Are you okay, _milii moi_?” Natasha comes into the apartment laden with groceries to find Bucky slumped on the couch, red-eyed.

“I, uh—well, we finished _Buffy_ last week, right, so I went back and rewatched some of season 2 and 3, because obviously those are the best…” He trails off, motioning helplessly at the DVD cases strewn next to him.

“And?”

“They just, they loved each other so much, Nat!” His voice cracks slightly with emotion. “And they could never be happy together, because he’d go evil, or, or she was still in high school, and—”

“I _knew_ it!” Natasha yelps. “I knew you’d be Team Angel. Sam totally owes me twenty bucks.”

Buck gasps, mock-scandalized. “How dare you! I am Team Buffy. She’s not _cookies_ yet, Natalia, she’s still baking, and now that she isn’t the only girl in all the world, she gets to do that. She earned that right.”

She giggles. “So, the Slayer’s your favorite character then?”

“I didn’t say _that_ ,” he replies, standing up to stretch and joining her in the kitchen to help put away the food. “I mean, her arc is amazing and all. Obviously she’s great. And yes, I relate a little to Angel, but…I don’t know. I actually kind of felt for Dawn.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Really? Dawn? Kleptomaniac, whiny, plot-contrivance Dawn Summers?”

“ _No_. Actual-teenager, badass-normal, doing-her-best Dawn Summers.”

“Fair enough,” she admits. “I guess she does have some good things going on. People do kind of hate on her for the wrong reasons.”

“Exactly,” Bucky nods. “Teenaged sidekicks retconned into relevancy that late in the game always get a bad rap.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the comics, Bucky Barnes was Captain America’s teenaged sidekick back in the 1940s, and he spent the rest of the twentieth century very dead, until he was resurrected as the Winter Soldier in the early 2000s. 
> 
> Dawn Summers, of course, didn't even exist in canon until the fifth season of Buffy, at which point the show openly incorporated her as if she had always been around. 
> 
> Some fans enjoyed these twists more than others.


	5. Hear Me Roar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red prompted, "What is dead may never die."

“Okay, you have one minute: go.”

Natasha takes a deep breath and starts talking, barely pausing for punctuation or even emphasis. “I admit the archery is amazing, but they need more crossbow action. They do. Just because. Staff fighting involves way more crushed fingers, especially if someone is a beginner, and that twirling is _so_ excessive—such a waste of energy! Totally saw the Red Woman twist coming, again, but ugh, does she have to take her robe off in _every_ scene? All of these religions are terrible. All of these men are boring, and the Iron Islanders are even worse than Dorne somehow. I don’t get how Cersei keeps making fucking up Machiavelli look so good. Khaleesi needs more practical clothing, what the _hell_ was that dress even? And if I have to see Ser Jorah look mournfully at his skin disease one more time I will—”

Bucky cuts her off by kissing her. She lets him for a couple of breaths, then pushes him back to his side of the couch. “I still had another six and a half seconds, James.”

“Fine,” he concedes, gesturing for her to continue.

Natasha takes a breath. “Brienne is still the best, Jamie is increasingly the worst—again—and _where were my dragons_?” The timer on his phone beeps at the exact moment she pauses for breath. She smirks.

“Feel better?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“Good,” Bucky says, and kisses her before she can start talking again. She protests less this time.

“Trying to shut me up, _lyubimyi_?” she murmurs into his day-old stubble.

“…maybe. You get awfully ranty about a show you claim to enjoy.”

Natasha grins and gently head-butts him in the shoulder. “Try harder.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers’ affinity for Game of Thrones has been previously established [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1441558).

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this piece comes from the _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ 's opening song, "Science Fiction Double Feature."
> 
> Special thanks to [Lex](archiveofourown.org/users/ilostmyshoe) for writing the sentences I actually meant to write, again, and to Inky for assuring me that the archery in Game of Thrones is not something to get rant-y about.


End file.
